My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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