Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

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(614): View more from Ohio

i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free

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(913): View more from Kansas

I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Am i fat?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Well i wouldnt let you on top

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next

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(301): View more from Maryland

did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

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(760): View more from California

Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this

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(870): View more from Arkansas

had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.

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