So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
