I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Never underestimate the power of titties
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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