I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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