My sheets look like a crime scene.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
