I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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