Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
