belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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