I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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