...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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