You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize