420 ftw
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
