I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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