You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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