Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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