He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
