Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
