I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
