just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
