So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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