8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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