After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
