I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize