hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
