I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
