Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
