there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
