There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
