I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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