I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
