thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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