How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
