1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
