Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
