Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Randomize
