He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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