do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
