also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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