I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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