Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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