capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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