I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
