how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
