we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
