I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
