We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
