I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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