Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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