Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
