fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
