Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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