PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you never un-have a 4some
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
