I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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