you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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