My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize