"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
