I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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