Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
