So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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