just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
