I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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