Your dad touched me again.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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