There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
