his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
