There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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