This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
