Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize
