Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
