Your tits are I can't wait for
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
