I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize